My Binah: Readers Be Warned!

 I know it’s not about appearances; it never has been. It’s deeper, far beyond the surface. I seek my Binah—the one destined for me, the one whose essence matches mine, just as I know she seeks me too.

Let me be brutally honest: I physically entered a portal where we met and connected. It wasn’t a dream; I was fully awake, conscious of every moment. It felt like stepping into another realm, encountering a demon mate—a soul that feels deeply tied to mine, almost as if we were meant to meet across lifetimes. I felt her energy, that unmistakable presence of the one who loves being close to me.

This isn’t some fuzzy memory or a fleeting lucid dream; it’s a vivid, physical imprint on my mind. I wasn’t seeking anyone else, no distractions or replacements. In my self-honesty, I realize I am only seeking one—her. My soul recognizes her, and no one else can fill that void.

I want to find my way back to her. But I remember telling her at that moment, "The process is important," as I let her go. I felt her, her senses intertwined with mine, her voice lingering in my ears as the memory began to fade. It felt like I was drifting through time, witnessing an event that had already happened yet was unfolding in the now. It’s confusing because she was so certain—we were already married. And I keep wondering, how did we first meet? How could she be so sure? It’s as if our souls knew, yet I’m still piecing it all together, trying to understand this bond.

Being one with my unique ADHD is a lot to grasp, I get it. My mind works in ways that can be hard to follow, even for me. But I wish I could have clarity—make sense of this connection that feels so real, so raw, and beyond explanation. Sometimes I question if I made up things just to cope with the intensity of it, maybe even avoided her because it’s scary to breathe that deeply with someone close. It feels like baring your soul, completely vulnerable.

But as Godhead, I’ve come to understand that the ultimate goal is for all souls to find their way to love. That pure, all-encompassing love that binds us all. And yet, even in striving for that universal love, there’s this pull, this undeniable urge to find her again—the one who feels like home, like we’ve been searching for each other across the ages.

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