How Can I not feel loneliness

 How Is It Possible to Be By Myself Without Feeling Alone?

The truth is, when you sense energy, when you have a spirit gift that happens to be God showing you literally everything around you, because everything that you interact with is God teaching you, literally, you begin to experience existence differently.

It's almost like you look into the sky and God is telling you, "Can you see that? This is why this is that. This is why that is that."

It's almost like Adam before the fall, right? That is how a spirit-born is. God tells you everything.

What I call God, right, is literally this breathing that is happening to me. I experience it as something that has created me, and I see it as myself as well. I also refer to it as God because I know that I didn't create the breathing that is happening to me. And this understanding existed long before I grew into this depth of awareness.

I've always just loved my own company. Why?

It's purely positive. It has no negative intention. It has no fake smile. It has no someone smiling at you fakely while being irritated by you. It has no someone being annoyed with you or pissed with you.

And then you're more clear to hear that which flows through you speak, without disturbance, without someone distracting you, asking you questions or wanting something else.

I get this understanding from within, and I can't explain how I understand it. It's not something where I'm wondering what is talking to me. It has always been talking to me since I was born. It's what told me who I was way before the world came to recognise who I was.

I was so sure of who I was, right?

It's what makes me not have the ability to interact with people on the surface level, like there's nothing really there. People can do that and make sense of it, but I am irritated with such mediocrity.

It doesn't even make sense to me why I would be smiling at someone that I don't like. And that energy of not liking someone, I don't like to have it around me because it's heavy.

It's so dense, heavy, sticky and irritating. It doesn't feel like something that should be associated with me.

And so, because I feel these kinds of energies that are heavy and light, that is how I identify energies.

Some feel heavy. Some feel light.

The ones that feel light would always smile. And that's why they always have bright faces. They're always lit up, happy, excited.

And it's been something that has taken that same pattern over the years with different random people, to the point where you can't just deny the truth of what I've experienced, literally.

So being by myself, to me, has always been fun because I have never really been alone.

Because I was never created alone.

There's this conscious awareness of much more than what is being seen. Literally.

They say I live in a bubble because people don't perceive what I sense or what I feel. So, to them, it's a bubble because they can't understand it. To make it something they can comprehend, they call it a bubble.

Because they can't sense it. And it's not their fault.

I don't know. I guess if you're created to sense it, or you're not created to sense it, you wouldn't blame yourself for how you are created.

Some people get the ability to sense things after going through certain things in life. That happens. Some people, after having a near-death experience, begin to sense things differently.

But I was born like that.

That's why I always express that I am spirit-born.

Even when my own sibling does not understand. How can you be spirit-born? I mean, they gave birth to you, like me. We are not seeing the same thing.

And that's because I am not the God that created us, and I can't start explaining to everybody that I was created differently. It wouldn't even make sense.

Now, just because I am aware and conscious of this, right, and I am asked to increase the awareness of others who are unaware of this by voicing out, does not mean I'm looking for attention or fame.

I'm just following that same God within me that did not ask me to say anything for years when I was growing up.

Because I'm not someone who would just start making noise to get a crowd.

What the fuck about a crowd?

I have grown up being isolated as a child, under circumstances that I could have no control over, right?

An instance where my head was too big to leave the house, and I had to be the only one at home because the other children, my siblings, could escape out of the house and have fun.

And that was where I started getting interested in being by myself.

Because the truth is, what happens in my head constantly, every day of my life, is much more interesting than what happens around me.

What happens around me is not even as teeny-weeny exciting as what happens in my head.

So I'm always in that field of consciousness where the unlimited happens, where everything is based on a broader canvas.

You know, it's like a frame.

The television has a rigid, limited version of what you can experience when it comes to visualisation because it's giving you what to visualise.

But imagine where you don't have a limit to visualisation.

The mind can do the unreasonable.

And when you have a pilot called God taking you through different scenarios, you begin to understand what I'm trying to express.

Because how I see things with my ADHD gift, right, is something that makes me not alone at all, at any time.

That awareness that we are spirit existing within spirit: is not something I can shake out of my body.

In short, it's so engraved into my being that it has become like a torment as a child growing up.

But the more I don't wrestle with it, the less of a torment it becomes.

When I try to fight against this consciousness I am born with, I become depressed and miserable because I want to fit what I see around me, and it's not possible.

Because I didn't create the way I see things.

So naturally, I can't force it to shape itself into what society feels is reasonable, no matter how crazy it might appear to me.

And because when I stopped fighting it as an adult, right, and surrendered totally into it, it started proving to me why.

Actually, it didn't just start proving it to me. It's always been proving it to me, every single day of my life.

There's no day that I'm not reminded of this understanding: this is why I was created like this.

And with this understanding, I became more grateful for this ability instead of wanting to get rid of it, instead of seeing it as something heavy.

When I stop having that friction, when I flow with it, it expands into something more delightful.

And it tells me that truly, we are spirit existing within spirit. As a result:

More downloads of understanding keep coming to me, and I get so engrossed in the understanding that I don't even want to let go of it at a point.

So when you might think I am alone and should be lonely, it's because we are unaware that we are spirit existing within spirit, and there is no point at which we are alone.

Yes, I don't see everything at once, as some people would think.

The way I see things, I can't really explain.

Sometimes I see everything at once, to the point that it doesn't make sense how I don't see everything at once.

It's so deep.

When I say I see everything at once, I mean I see all realities, future, past and present, happening. I'm seeing it as it's happening.

And when I say I don't see everything at once, I mean I don't see the inside of a car, that kind of thing. I don't see all those things.

I don't know how to explain it.

There's a way people think seeing things is supposed to be.

And again, the seeing that I see, right, is not something I'm doing by myself. I'm not the one making it happen. I don't have the power to make it happen.

It just happens to me.

It happens to me without my control.

And I think if I want to say I have a superpower, I feel I should be able to make it happen whenever I want it to happen.

And I think the reason why I can't make it happen whenever I want it to happen is just to remind me that I am not the one making it happen in the first place.

I am just witnessing it, at most.

So that is how I have grown to understand it to this point.

It doesn't make sense to feel alone just because I am seen alone.

Because I am never alone in consciousness.

I'm always conscious of what we exist within, that people don't have consciousness of.

People walk on the earth 24/7 and still say God does not exist.

People plant, build houses, jump and do everything. They go to parties, and they think that nothing is conscious of their existence. Nothing can do anything to them. They are the owners of their lives.

They think other people are insignificant, worthless.

The ability to comprehend what we exist within is a conscious awareness that can only be gotten from what we exist within.

I don't think anybody can have the power to interact with what we exist within if it doesn't demand you fit to interact with it.

And it can only demand you fit to interact with it because it chooses to.

That is why you can't dictate to God.

You can't tell God, "This is when I want to live. I don't want to live."

Anytime it wants to take you, pshh, you're gone. You don't have any say about it.

It will just make up a story that would explain why you are gone on the surface level of reality.

But in the spirit, it has decided that is your end, and it has finished understanding existence through you.

It is not separate from you.

But your conscious awareness of what you exist within is alive.

It's the difference between someone who is born spirit and someone who doesn't even care that spirit exists.

Some people will even say, "I rebuke it. I'm not spirit anything," as if that stops you from walking on the ground and stepping inside something that is spirit.

So that is where I am from.

I hope with these little words of mine, I've been able to express how it is impossible for me to think loneliness is something that can make sense to something that is inside spirit.

Unless it is unaware of the spirit it is within.